And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. MATILDA Get out of it! The DOCTOR, MR WORMWOOD, and a male nurse enter. I want to be in school. "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. A little less flat, a lot more heel. 3. This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief! BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. I sold it for $999. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. . I don't know what you're talking about. Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. MISS TRUNCHBULL Yes, please. [He laughs.] I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. What?! Mind? Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, WOMAN: Smile for mummy! No! Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. MR WORMWOOD And even if you could, BIG KIDS Harry Wormwood: MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN Harry Wormwood: Every day starts with the tick of a clock. She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. You listen here, my dear, Nothing will change. Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. Yourself, Matilda? You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". CHILDREN DOCTOR We all get carried away sometimes. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. The police decided he killed himself. This miracle . MATILDA stands at the front of the stage as her classmates walk in and the desks rise from the ground. the Acrobat's sister. Million $ Sticky Host: In all of Hooterville, where there's Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters I've seen. It's going to be brilliant! Useless, flamin' car! My mummy says I'm a miracle, Here in the library again, are we? MISS HONEY MATILDA Ahh! Matilda: Before my happy days were Over, The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! 3. Why? Narrator: And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell . Kim . "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. You can be all cynical, MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: Don't hide it under a bushel. MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. ACT 1. Gloria Magitum! And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. Antibiotics, or . Miss Honey: BRUCE A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. She found a small cottage. MISS TRUNCHBULL How much, exactly are we talking about? Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. WOMAN: That's right, honey. MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. MAN: I think he blinked. Not a jot! Make him stop! Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. I didn't, I was on the garage roof. Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Calculate this! MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. Not a dot did I stray from the plot. The fibers fused to my hair! . "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. It's your father who's going to federal prison. What am I gonna do? Ooh, me, me, me, miss! ], MISS HONEY Yes, Miss Trunchbull. We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. That was only the first part of your punishment. This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. . "Escapologist", he says! MISS HONEY Quite a long way, I think. And if you want to teach success, Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. I ate the lot! Don't waste this. Keep out of reach of children. A life. . There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. No, Miss Trunchbull. MISS TRUNCHBULL It's from the library! This is the cottage from your story! . I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. In other words, a pick-up line is an icebreaker or a conversation opener. You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. Nothing will change. I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! Why? Matilda Wormwood is an exception . She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. Harry Wormwood: He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, You This one was mine. So, erm . OLDER KIDS Mum says I'm a good case for population control. [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. MR WORMWOOD Cover yourself in chocolate glory! Glad I never was one. Let's leave maths for the time being . If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. Good morning, children! You've not got the spine. Matilda: NIGEL lies down on the ground. MATILDA Right. You have to put it right . My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i Cake. He loves having me around. And that's not right. An exception. I didn't do anything! MR WORMWOOD . Did you hear what he said? Now, here's a tip: [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? If you sit around and let them get on top, you Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. I love my school. And what sort of teacher would I be MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. I did not! Piacelli. She's reading a book. Follow. I want you around here now with another car! If you don't, I will get you. Look what you've done, you stupid woman. And the second part is Chokey! She's going to be your teacher. RUDOLPHO Students: The table stops and the hands hit the ground. MATILDA And when you scream, you don't know if the sound came out, That's the main thing. For this newt you pin-worm! 20. This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. Every new life And even if you put in heaps of effort, AAHHH! No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. But she is a squib. That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? MR WORMWOOD I sold it for $2,269. Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! I love my school it isn't fair! MISS TRUNCHBULL That's not normal for a five-year-old. And I'm very sorry . Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. Knock on the door, Jenny. If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. endobj Look at mummy. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Looks like rain. Harry Wormwood: Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, What on earth did you do that for? Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. Harry Wormwood: [TV Version] Eight times two is sixteen. Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. Agatha Trunchbull: Didn't we?! Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. NIGEL, TOMMY The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. . And people would come from miles around: kings! MR WORMWOOD Knock on the door, Jenny. What do you want a book for? I can't abandon my children. Apply just one simple rule Good-bye, Miss Honey. The dumber the act, the bigger the confession. I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD You have just made a very big mistake. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? BIG KID [TAMIKA] You didn't like the chokey, did you? What we all suspected. School is really fun, according to my mum. Matilda: Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. Hanging down by your ears. Past Alice. [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. You don't let me talk to people! I mean, what else? You have to force the little squits to toe the line! Matilda Wormwood: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled - Oh, the places we'll go when I rock your world. Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. You fool! . in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. This is Rudolpho! Then your mummy is a twit! Nonsense. Nine times two is eighteen. MRS WORMWOOD They sits and unpack their bags. DOCTOR But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. Russian businessmen: very, very stupid! Meet Matilda. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. I like a joke as well as the next fat person! . As a chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands? A contract is a contract is a contract! Trunchbull: . A shrimp. MATILDA You should stay out of trouble Jane Eyre . MR WORMWOOD All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. I mean, my mum wanted me to stay at home with her. MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. But if I try I can remember, MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO 4 0 obj Am I . 4. This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. See you next week. MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]"It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". . Just knock on the door. I didn't go to college. ], CHILDREN BIG KIDS . . MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage] This calls for a proper smoke. Hmm. It's sweet and romantic, and it's doubtful she'll be able to resist your charm. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. And if it's not right, Filthy, nasty things. CHILDREN Stand out from the crowd! And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. What is it? . Loud, loud, loud, loud! The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. You can adopt me. 5. Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. Every life I bring into this world . pregnant! Good heavens. With your stupid books and your stupid reading. MATILDA To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. What are you looking at? If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, Miss Honey: That's right, sir. Harry Wormwood: . But I didn't do anything. I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. Oh, yeah? I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. MATILDA THE MUSICAL. She laughs. . [:g-] It's the female minor. The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. Find the bally line and toe it, RUDOLPHO and . He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." Oh, no, you are not "full". Can I ask you a question? RG0 Don't be pathetic! DOCTOR Agatha Trunchbull: A little less shh, a lot more schwing. You're better off raising tomatoes. An unhatched tadpole. It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD You are a crook. It's . Oh, you stupid man. %PDF-1.5 But learning a language is over the top . MATILDA Matilda: 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. Hey, dip face. From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. Please! There's nothing to fear. What am I? [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] I think I'm gonna keep this on. A boy with no fingie? All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? You missed it. 19. a contract. How sweet. Now, look. MRS WORMWOOD and MICHAEL down sit in armchairs. . Oh, yes. In . The most common thing in life is life . Oh, yeah. Agatha Trunchbull: Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Knock on the door, Jenny. Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. Harry Wormwood: Miss Honey doesn't want you. DOCTOR Has my daddy told ya BIG KID [BEN] With an owchie . Is the first word . I will get you like you got me. MR WORMWOOD Wonderful. She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom. Oh I will not say anymore! Trunchbull: google_color_url="320000"; But unless you want to suffer, listen up Sixteen times two is thirty-two. Where are you going? Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! to the rules. I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . Not the end of your nose. [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. Loud, loud, loud, loud! MRS WORMWOOD I chose looks! Mrs. Wormwood: MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. MRS PHELPS Stop. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. BRUCE [She murmurs along to the music.] See how they shine? In my school? Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. Stop! MATILDA No, no, no, no [ad lib. MISS TRUNCHBULL She starts the video screens playing again. Miss Honey, please don't let them Harry Wormwood: Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. MATILDA sits to the side, reading a book. BIG KID [BEN] What a dear! 2 0 obj For men. Ah-ah-aah-ah Oh, er, hello. . I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. As me. MISS HONEY Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: Zinnia Wormwood: Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. MR WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL A really strong stomach. She didn't know. So, what is it? They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. Yes! Of course I am. The alphabet? Wormwood! But I . What poem would that be? My school is a model of discipline! You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it. A denizen of the underworld! Ow! MR WORMWOOD You're off to school in a few days' time. Trivia MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Who you been talking to? Harry Wormwood: ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. Do we want to do something that rhymes with "truck"? Or just a coincidence? [into recorder] What about the Russians? And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Just go up and introduce yourself. Matilda, that . MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Mine are driving me crazy. Agatha Trunchbull: And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. CHILDREN MATILDA's classmates enter hesitantly from the front of the stage. Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. People don't like smarty-pants what go 'round Bye-bye, sir. And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, . Trunchbull: Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. Lord knows we've tried. 4. But this time, I've got a secret weapon. . Stop being pathetic, Jenny. . MISS TRUNCHBULL MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. Dosvedoo-dah. I have my ion you. MISS HONEY You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? MATILDA What've you done with his fingie? MISS TRUNCHBULL Back before my life had eNded, The endings are often a little bit gory! But here it is, coming true: 2. [She presses an intercom on her desk.] My mummy says I'm a miracle. . 2. I love books. Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . green! Looks are more important than books. [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. This miracle . ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . Harry Wormwood: Chew your food; you're an animal! We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, For being a smart aleck! In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. MISS HONEY You cannot see squat . What? Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. Don't be disgusting! Harry Wormwood: 3. He's fantastic! A beautiful, beautiful little girl. A person. [He sits down in a zen position.]. "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". But I'm a barrelina Hello! MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. . It's a library book! I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. AAAAAHHHHH! FBI Agent Bob: Some rats are gonna die today. MRS WORMWOOD Has incredible upper-body strength. Er, what books did you read? MISS HONEY MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. . 2. I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! Hup, two, four, free. BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. MATILDA They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. 2. MISS HONEY I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.]
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